my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
