So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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