ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
