a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I party with great urgency now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
