I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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