roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
