i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
