Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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