why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
