Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
