I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
