i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
