wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
