So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
it glows. i had to have it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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