Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize