We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
