Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
