...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
