You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
