so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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