I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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