It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
