i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
