sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
