guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize