I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
