Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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