Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
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