I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
