im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize