She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sponge bath it is.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
