hell yes lets make some ravioli
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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