if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
