It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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