so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
