is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
