Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
