At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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