Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
