we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
