Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Hippo gnu deer
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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