No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
