Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
