Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize