saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
