Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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