am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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