Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
