Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
