the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
