we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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