we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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