You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
