i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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