Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
