Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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