Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
