There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I would ride that face into the sunset
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
