Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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