She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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