She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
