Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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