Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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